And Potty Training Begins: The Apottylypse

Firstly, I'll set the scene. My son, Cian is now two-years old (3-years in March). And with a nudge from my parents, and the girls at Cian's nursery, I felt it was time to start potty training! My baby was going to throw away his nappies, and replace them with some big boy pants! It was quite exciting.

So, anyone who knows me knows I rely on google heavily. So, naturally I started our potty training adventure on Google. The more I read, the more I felt Cian was ready to embark on this journey. Cian was ticking off all the "Is your child ready to potty train?" checklist questions which in my mind was a great first step. 

So, as I like to think of myself  as quite a chilled out person (my husband,  Jack might think differently), I thought what would the harm be in taking a 'relaxed' approach to potty training. Phase 1 of my relaxed approach, was asking Cian on a random Tuesday evening if he wanted to use the potty. I know, a Tuesday? What was I thinking? Nobody starts anything on a Tuesday! I had set myself up for failure straight away. Anyway, low and behold, on that random Tuesday evening, Cian used his potty for a pee-pee for the first time ever! I thought to myself, my child's a genius! And after A LOT of praise, I messaged pretty much all my friends and family to notify them of this very important milestone. I cannot explain the happiness I felt in those moments. Definitely my top parenting triumph of all time. 

In that moment, that moment where I was walking on air, I thought to myself, could this be it? Could this potty training chat be easy? Oh god. I have never been so wrong. As the week progressed Cian used the potty (when prompted) every morning and every evening. He was starting to learn that pee-pees belonged in the potty. Or that's what I thought. Nursery was a different story. He wouldn't even entertain the potty. But, I thought to myself, that's a different environment, and we're taking a super relaxed approach, so it's all good. 

On reflecting on this first weekend of real potty training, something became apparent to me. Potty training is very similar to the 5 Stages of Grief that Psychologist David Kessler writes about. If you've been through it, you'll get it. And if you haven't been through it, here's your warning. If you are anything like me, you are likely to go through all 5 "stages" (see below) in a 12 hour potty-training period. Let me get a bit more specific...

Day 1 - Saturday 27th October 2018

I woke up on that Saturday morning pretty excited to start potty training. Stage 1 - Denial. This was because, as I explained earlier, the week leading up to that weekend (forever now known as The Apottylypse) was pretty promising. Cian had been using the potty pretty successfully in both the mornings and evenings. I had decided my approach would be to keep him very close to a toilet at all times. He would be free to run around nude, to allow quick access to the toilet. Google had been really informative and suggested setting a timer for every 30 minutes, and this would help to encourage toilet trips. I felt good, I had a plan. 

Very early on that morning, I realised that our bathroom was far too cold to make Cian potty in, so the potty was relocated to our living room. This probably isn't ideal from a hygiene perspective, or a habit forming perspective, but the location couldn't have been any better for him. Surely if it was closer to him, that would translate into less accidents? Less accidents would mean less house cleaning, and less washing machine cycles. WIN WIN WIN. 

So every 30 minutes or so, I would ask Cian to sit on the potty. But of course, he's a 2-year old, so he would decline my invitation, in a not so polite fashion. This is when 'potty corruption' came into play. I took to bribing Cian every half hour with edible treats ranging from smarties to grapes. In hindsight, this was Stage 3 - Bargaining. You can imagine how many treats that boy consumed that day, and as a relatively sensible mother, who doesn't want her child to be removed by social services, I knew bribery wasn't a sustainable solution. That is why, the next day, my approach changed. 

One highlight of my day though was that Cian used the potty all by himself for a poo. Of course with the post poo clear up, I came into use, but his first potty poo was a great first step. I found myself clinging on to this success in the following weeks.

Day 2 - Sunday 28th October 2018

I went into Sunday with a different mindset after more googling. I knew I needed to remind Cian to go to the toilet, but I didn't want to force him. What would the point be in that? He would forever rely on me to remind him to urinate? Surely that wasn't a good long-term approach? I have better things to do for the rest of my life.

So, that morning, like the day before, the nappy came off, and my timer was set. Every 30 minutes on that fateful day, I asked Cian if he needed to pee in the potty, and without fail the response I got was "no mummy I don't need to". The first couple of times, I thought fair enough. He's just had a little juice. I swear, I had not even finished my thought before Cian shouted "mummy, I've leaked". And there we had it, a not so lovely puddle in the middle of my living room floor. And believe me, that was the first of many that day. Too many puddles to count. 

My new approach, although definitely justified, was not good for my morale. I have never been so frustrated in all my years. And I live with a man (so that should say it all). It was this weekend, the weekend of The Apottylypse, where I felt the most helpless and hopeless I have ever felt. I honestly could not see any light at the end of the tunnel.

It was in writing about my experience that I reflected on what could have gone worse. And I guess I should just be happy that he's not taken to splashing around in his pee-pee puddles. The boy loves Peppa Pig, and she's a very bad influence when it comes to puddle jumping. Doesn't help that Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig encourage it so much. .

Highlight of this day? Cian not splashing in his pee-pee puddles.

Day 3 - Monday 29th October 2018

Having had an early night last night, and time to logically evaluate the Apottylypse (with help from rational friends), I have decided to keep fighting and to not just send Cian back (just joking, not sure anyone would take him with his current attitude - I might come on to that later). One wise friend explained that it is a huge change for Cian, so I'm really going to try bear that in mind whenever I want to bang my head off a brick wall! It was in this rational and positive mindset that I decided to start writing a blog of our potty training journey. If anything, if we make it out alive, it might be good to reminisce on this sh*t show of an experience.

Today was Cian's first day of properly potty training at nursery. By that I mean, he had his big boy pants on, and there were no nappies in sight. Now Cian is no stranger to nursery. He has been going since he was 8 months old. I felt that should benefit us?

Our bath battle..

So, I went into the nursery pretty equipped. I had a list of things I felt I should mention about our fun packed weekend, I had 4 FULL changes of clothes, some leisurely potty reading, and a sticker chart. I spoke to Cian's keyworker, and explained my approach. She was on board! She had a timer, and she would encourage the sticker chart. Well when I collected him this evening, it was very apparent by the stack of washing that Cian did not get any stickers. Their day was even less successful than our weekend. 

To keep this blog light, let's just say that there were some members of staff who found the smell hard to stomach and a pair of Cian's undies had to be sacrificed. 

Tonight's shopping list for Jack is: 

 - MORE pants for Cian (10 more pairs should do it)

 - MORE trousers for Cian (I can't keep up with the washing)

 - Washing powder (because i'm really trying to keep up with the washing)

I love my child. But the distance between us today was definitely a blessing in disguise. If anything I think it will have helped keep me out of the mental asylum for a few more days. Another positive? We walked the whole way home (approx 35 minutes) without an accident. He did however have a tantrum because he didn't want to pee in the potty but in the bath instead. Outcome? Cian peed in the bath. Look, it's Monday and I'm going to be dealing with this for the foreseeable future. I'm picking my battles. 

To be continued...