Just a Normal Sunday Afternoon...

This is a story that many of my friends and family would have heard before. It happened before I had taken to blogging, but it is a story I have been told, is worth sharing.

So firstly, I’ll set the scene. It was a lovely Sunday afternoon and the family and I had been out to the park, for lunch and to Ikea. Isn't Ikea just such a typical Sunday shop to visit? Cian's toys were starting to take over the whole flat so we needed a toy chest to hide the kiddie clutter. When we arrived home, Jack started embarking on the building work. I would have no idea where to start nor would I want to, thank god Jack thrives on building things. I thought the safest thing to do would be to get Cian away from the hammers and nails, so we went off to Aldi for our weekly food shop, just before dinner time. I love Aldi, I always have a delightful shopping experience there. It's big enough to have everything you need, but not too big that you could lose a child (I hope).

So, Cian was at this lovely stage where he wouldn't listen to me (and still is), so on this occasion when I shouted stop at him in Aldi, and he ran off, I sin binned him. He was sentenced to the trolley seat with no chance of parole. He was a little peeved off so when I came across a toilet training seat his eyes lit up and he was so chuffed that he was allowed to hold it. I continued my shop and a few minutes later he was wearing it as a hat.. It was funny, we both laughed. My son can have a toilet seat on his head and still look pretty cute. I did stop to consider whether this was the sort of behaviour I wanted to encourage? Would it be cute when he poured a full potty over his head? Probably not. 

It was on the frozen aisle section, right next to the frozen veg where something unimaginable happened. Truly, in hindsight it is quite remarkable the situation Cian got himself into. If I hadn't been there, I would not have believed it. The toilet seat Cian was looking after, had slid down over his head and was now hanging around his neck. In that split second I laughed, and so did Cian. That was until we realised, that whatever angle it went down over his head, was not so easily replicated in the opposite direction. My son was now sporting the strangest fashion accessory - a potty seat necklace.

I was now in a blind panic. Cian realised pretty much immediately the error of his ways and so had I - never trust your toddler to hold anything in the supermarket! I tried calmly to pull the potty seat over his head but he was getting more and more distraught and was pulling the potty seat down. I realised quite quickly that this was a two man job - one to hold his hands, and the other to pull the seat. But there I was, alone with Cian. Luckily, childbirth prepares you for not giving a shit how things look, and prioritising your child over your own self-respect. So I asked a couple walking passed for their assistance. The lady was very sympathetic and calming. She suggested Vaseline to grease up the potty to get it over his head, but alas that didn't work.

The Culprit

Cian was now inconsolable! And so was I! The kind lady asked if he had a comforter that would help. That was a great idea, he did, but I had left it in the car. And I couldn't leave my child stranded in the most vulnerable of positions to retrieve it. Just as these thoughts were circling in my mind, the helpful husband had an epiphany. He had tools in his van outside, and thought that the answer to our prayers could be lying in his tool bag! He decided to go to his van. I asked him if on his way he could collect Cian's comforters from my car. The helpful husband agreed, so I very naively handed over my car keys. In hindsight, trusting a stranger with your car keys probably isn't the best idea but what else could I do? I was in what they call a 'high-stress situation'.

Another passer-by stopped to help and sought out the store manager, who brought some scissors, but sadly the plastic was too thick. You’d think in Aldi where they have aisles and aisles of random household and gardening supplies, that there would be some sort of tool to remove this toilet seat from my son’s head? Nope! When the scissors failed, the store manager felt it best to call for help. Nine nine nine was dialled. At this point, both Cian and I were in floods of tears. In that moment, I thought my child would be forever stuck with a potty around his neck. The end was not in sight. Finally, the helpful husband appeared back with Cian's dummy and blanket, and thankfully my car keys too! What I hadn't anticipated was that instead of his tool bag, he would bring some Policemen. He had found them lunching outside and had asked them for assistance.

I'll never forget how unphased the Policemen were at seeing Cian in his neckware. This stuff must happen all the time? Their presence was very useful. They were good at distracting Cian and they also radioed the Fire Service. Also, more surprisingly, they were good chat! We bonded over the prospect of suing Aldi for not specifying on the label that toddler's should not wear the toilet seat on their heads. Of course, I did not try to sue Aldi for my toddler's stupidity!

To keep Cian calm the kind lady suggested giving him some chocolate. I did have to think twice about this because I didn't want him ruining his appetite with dinner being so soon. But I guess calming my child down with whatever treat he needed was the right call. It's amazing how adaptable children can be. During all of this commotion, Cian had started adjusting to life with this potty around his neck. He was navigating chocolate around his neck wear as well as story books that the store manager had brought to him. I wish I had a picture to share but sadly during this horrific event, that was the last thing on my mind. But, in order to bring this image to life, imagine a very upset toddler crossed with a dog in a cone. 

Before we knew it, help had arrived! And ten minutes later, on that normal Sunday afternoon in Aldi. Cian had two Policemen, two Paramedics, three Firemen, a store manager, the kind lady and the helpful husband standing around him. One sawed off potty later, my boy was freed by a real-life Fireman Sam. We regrouped, thanked everyone for their help, and continued our shop with our heads held high. Many have asked, did we have to pay for the potty seat? No, we did not. But we did send a thank you card to Aldi requesting the CCTV footage. I thought it would be excellent material for Cian's 18th Birthday. No, we've not had a response yet.